


thin walls and heists

by orphan_account



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: M/M, Spiders, heist boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 11:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10966656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Juno hoped he wasn't sharing a wall with a thief.





	thin walls and heists

Juno had a new neighbor. He knew that because the walls were incredibly thin, and he could hear everything happening next door. 

From the last three hours, he’s determined that his new neighbor keeps strange company. 

So far the man- at least Juno assumes he’s a man, they could be a woman who keeps quiet with a male friend who acts like they own the place, but Juno’s assuming they’re male.

Anyway, so far the man has seemed to have a live music showing, talked about pilfering at least fifteen jewels, and had over a friend that started screeching about something- his drapes, maybe?

Juno, for his part, was trying to read a book about something called quantum physics that someone thrust on him, but he couldn’t help eavesdropping. 

_ “I don’t think that’s how you make spaghetti, Mag.” _

_ “Oh, what do you know, Peter? I’ve been cooking for decades longer than you.” _

_ “Still, maybe you should look at the-” _

_ “Nonsense.” _

_ “Mag, the noodles are smoldering.” _

_ “Hmmm… are you sure they’re not supposed to do that?” _

_ “Mag, why don’t you go, I’m sure I can make dinner myself.” _

Juno chuckled. He still couldn’t make dinner himself, thank god he had Rita. 

The older man’s- Mag’s- voice dropped, and even through the thin wall, Juno couldn’t hear much. 

_ Ready? Heist, gem, green color,  _ Juno wasn’t sure. 

Juno hoped he wasn’t sharing a wall with a thief.

Mag left the building- there was a click- and Juno pondered how badly he was procrastinating. Juno was supposed to be getting ready for his job that night- two old ladies had gotten a threat of robbery from someone, they hired Juno darling to make sure they weren’t. Juno didn’t need much for a case like that, a comms system, Rita, and a gun, but Rita made him promise to look over the map, ‘just in case’.

Juno’s beginning to do that, when there’s a screech from next door. Juno jumps up and races to the door. 

Juno’s neighbor was standing on a coffee table and was too pretty for his own good, with black hair and hipster glasses. He didn't look as scared at his scream would suggest. 

“Juno!” he exclaimed. “You’re my neighbor?” he didn't wait for an answer. “See, I was hoping that you could maybe kill that spider over there. You have a tazer, don’t you?”

Juno nodded. “It’s not for killing insects, though.”

“Oh, darling Juno, poor, poor misinformed Juno Steel. Spiders are not insects, they are arachnids.”

“That,” Juno pointed at the man, “is irrelevant.”

“I would say that it is relevant. I need you to kill a spider, you say you can’t kill insects, I tell you that spiders are not insects. Please kill the bug.”

“Sorry, Mister- what’s your name?”

“Rex, Rex Glass.” Rex stepped daintily from the table to a chair, where he sat cross-legged. “The spider is right there,” he said, pointing to a spot right in front of Juno. 

Juno instinctively stepped back and stomped, then glanced down. “There’s… nothing there.”

Rex grinned wickedly. “Exactly. You’d better hope you don’t fall for that tonight,  _ Steel, _ ”

Juno didn't plan to. 


End file.
